dear xanga

I havent written in a year maybe? Sorry. So much has happened it seems like. At a point of it I thought someone had turned my life upside down. But really, it was turend right side up. Where do I start?

Well, I moved from Joplin MO and am now living at home with my parents again. My parents and my son, Jaydon David Shell. . Yep. I sure do have a son. And its amazing. Really "amazing" doesnt even descirbe how great it is to have him in my life. I couldnt imagine living without him. He is my everything.


I graduated from Cosemotlogy school in April and Im now working at JCPennys salon in Washington. I love it. Its so much fun. I do wish I could be a stay at home mom though. I miss him so much when Im there.

Family. Darn. Its my everything from now on. Thats really how it should have been from the very beginning....but really. My family is the best there is. I could never dream of anything better. And Jaydon is the perfect addition. We are all overjoyed to have him, finally.

and God? Hes the one to thank for all of this. Without him....I dont want to know where I would be right now. Im so glad he is forgiving. He shouldn't be, but he sure saved my soul because he is.

i miss joplin.

i miss my friends.

i wasnt ready for change...but i guess the change happened becuase of my decision.

its like i have this perminant ache in my chest...

i wish it would leave.

i wish i had a valentine.

happy....valentine's day......

i like my new job..tonight was my first night on the floor...my fav part of the job is the people..by far. if it werent for them i would have quited already. =)

im going home in two days...WHHHOOOO HOOOOOOO. i miss it so much. i cant wait to move back in may...itll be such a freakin relief...=)

i love you guys...really i do. let me know how all of you are......


ps....regina freakin spector is re-damn-diculous with her talents...thats right..i cussed.....i did.

but she deserves it. =)